You might be surprised to know that this is a very common bridal dilemma. It's totally understandable that you might change your mind about your wedding dress over time. If you're buying a dress from a bridal boutique, (and we recommend putting in your order at least six months in advance) there can be many months between saying yes to your dream wedding dress and it actually arriving. The problem with this is that it leaves a lot of time for you to see other dresses, and second-guess your decision. There can also be circumstances outside of your control, that might mean you have to change the venue or date of your big day. Suddenly you're switching from a destination wedding to one at home, or a summer wedding to a winter celebration. Unfortunately, this can also mean the dress you chose no longer fits the vibe or aesthetic of your wedding.

The way we see it, if you've changed your mind about your wedding dress, you fall into one of two categories:

A. You're just having second thoughts.

B. You really, really don't want to, or can't, wear this dress anymore.

So, let's dive into each dilemma separately below and try to figure out which category you fall into, and whether you really are saying no to the dress.

You're Having Second Thoughts About Your Dress

If you're merely having a wobble, then it might just be a case of taking an honest deep dive into why those niggling doubts have set in, and then reminding yourself why you fell in love with the dress in the first place. Here's where to start...

Stop shopping once you’ve ordered your wedding dress. You will inevitably see lots of other gorgeous dresses that might have also worked, but you loved the one you chose for a reason. Continuing in a shopping mindset will only torment you. This leads us to the next point.

Unfollow the bridal designers you love on Instagram, especially the designer you’ve ordered your dress from. There's a good chance you might see your design on other brides as brands love to share images of stylish real brides wearing their dresses. These might make you feel like your dress isn't so fresh or original any more. But remember nobody at your wedding is as immersed in all things weddings as you are. We can guarantee they won’t have seen your dress before your big day!

Style it up. If you're still worried your style of dress is overdone, put your own styling stamp on it to make it feel totally original, and almost like a new dress. So many designers and brands now do bridal separates from statement capes to overskirts and detachable sleeves that can create a cool two-in-one dress vibe.

Fall back in love with it. Ring up your bridesmaids or whoever came to your bridal appointments with you and talk through why you chose that particular dress. If you've changed your mind about your wedding dress, sometimes a bit of positive affirmation can go a long way to silencing the negative voices in your head.

Address your concerns. Figure out exactly what’s bothering you with your bridal specialist. Maybe it’s the straps or neckline, or maybe the material you've chosen is too heavy or light for the season. They can help you find a solution - even if it’s adding embellishment to up the wow factor, or taking something away to make it more pared back.

Try it on as soon as it arrives back in the store. Bring along your accessories, shoes, veil and any other bits you’ve bought to see the whole look. Styling it up can really put any doubts to rest.

Consider going alone so that you can have a very honest talk with your bridal consultant. Alternatively bring someone who wasn't at the original appointment, who will give an honest opinion and doesn't have an agenda. For example, your mother might have a very strong opinion on what she likes on you, or lean towards something more conservative or classically bridal looking, even if that's not your style.

You Really Don’t Want to Wear Your Dress Anymore

This is a much trickier situation. Nobody should have to wear a dress they don't feel confident, comfortable and incredible in, but you do need to act immediately. If you've gone through all the points above and you are certain that this is not the dress for you anymore, for whatever reason, these are the steps you can take to find a replacement and mitigate any financial loss.

Check your bridal store's policy. It will vary from store to store, and how far into the process you have gone. Usually, the boutique is under no obligation to take back the dress or refund your deposit.

There might be a chance to cancel the order with the designer if your change of mind is very soon after ordering. Your boutique can then either refund you the deposit or allow you to put your deposit towards another dress in-store depending on store policy.

Ask to try on the sample again if the order has already been placed. If the dress still isn't back and in progress, there might still be time to make bigger amendments with the designer.

Otherwise, you will have to accept your financial losses. You can always sell your unwanted wedding dress online and you can check out our post on the best places to do so.

Back to the drawing board. This is why it’s important to start wedding dress shopping early. Check out our wedding dress shopping timeline here! Bear in mind you now have less turnaround time, or time for alterations, which will significantly reduce the pool of dresses you can choose from. But here's how to still get something fabulous now (hopefully) you know exactly what you want.

• Ask your bridal specialist which designers have a faster turnaround and choose from those lines.
• If you have less in the budget, check out sample sales. As you buy the dress as is, there is no turnaround time and you can get up to 70% off designer dresses. Follow all your favourite boutiques to see when their next sample sale is happening and follow our tips here to shop it like a pro!
• Look to the high street. There are lots of great ready-to-wear bridal collections available now that are very reasonably priced and delivered quickly. Check out our list of the best places here.
• Consider vintage for something that you know won’t be anywhere else and will be budget-friendly. Read our post on where to find vintage wedding dresses here.
• Buy a secondhand dress online, or check out a bridal boutique that offers pre-loved dresses such as Brides Do Good or Oxfam Bridal (these also get donations of new dresses directly from designers).
• Visit a charity bridal boutique such Barnardos Bridal Rooms where you'll find brand new dresses and accessories donated by some of Ireland's top bridal retailers, wholesalers and designers at a fraction of the usual cost.

Have another bridal dilemma you need to answered? Send us a mail at hello@onefabday.com or DM us on Instagram and we'll do our best to help!