Here in One Fab Day HQ, we've got lots of experience in planning weddings (click here and here for the evidence!), but even more experience in attending them! Between us, we've been to approximately 14,000 weddings (we may be exaggerating!), and we've picked up a few wedding guest dos and don'ts along the way, including some terrific examples of how to get in a newlywed's bad books! All jokes aside, a couple's wedding is a pretty special day in their lives, so it's important to us, as guests, that we're doing our bit to create the best and most magical vibes possible! Oh and make sure you listen to our podcast episode on this very topic!

Some of our tips on how to be a great wedding guest are a little obvious (because, in our experience, some people benefit from a gentle reminder!), while others will be a tad controversial. It might also seem like a lot to think about on a day when you just want to let your hair down and celebrate, but a little forethought is a small price to pay for putting a huge smile on your favourite couple's faces! So let's get started, shall we?

1. Be Punctual

This one should go without saying, but it's actually quite easy to misjudge the start time of a wedding ceremony, particularly if you're assuming that the bride is going to be late (many aren't!). Airport rules apply here: make a travel plan and allow a half hour more than you think you'll need. Worst case scenario, you'll get to spend a little longer soaking up the pre-wedding excitement!

2. Respect the Guest List

Being invited to a wedding on your own isn't ideal, but before you send an impulsive text, remember that the couple have laboured long and hard over their guest list, and are dealing with tricky factors like capacity and budget. If they were able to accommodate more guests, they would, so don't kick up a fuss or demand a plus one. There may be dropouts later in the process and you might get lucky! In the same vein, if the invitation outlined just the adults in the family, don't ask to bring your children (unless of course, you're breastfeeding a newborn). It's unfortunate if this makes it impossible for you to attend, but trust that the couple have put a lot of thought into their decision.

3. Leave your Gripes at the Door

A wedding is not the place to confront your Uncle Frank about his annoying WhatsApp messages, or tell your pal's girlfriend that you think she's a bad influence. Likewise, if you've got some great news to share - your own engagement, pregnancy, etc. - it's best to keep it under your hat. Believe us, it'll be much nicer to have your own moment!

4. Mingle

We know it can be tempting to only hang with your pals or close family members at a wedding, but don't ignore the other guests! Be open to chatting with everyone, particularly guests who don't know many people in attendance. Make sure to engage with the person you're sitting beside at the meal, too, and don't ask the couple to move you - they probably put you there because they thought you'd hit it off!

5. Nail the RSVP

This one's pretty simple - RSVP promptly, including all the required information and using the method requested. For example, if you've been sent a hard copy invitation in the post, don't RSVP via Facebook or just assume that the couple know you're attending!

6. Obey the Dress Code

There are some pretty intense rules that going along with dressing for a wedding - a long white dress is out of the question, while short white dresses should be styled carefully - but really, there's no need to get yourself in a flap about it. Simply pay attention to the dress code on your invitation, do some swift Googling of the venue to gauge the vibe, and you'll be fine. Get our helpful guide to deciphering dress codes here.

7. Consider the Photographers

If the photographers and videographers are doing their jobs really well, you'll hardly even notice them on the day, but you should still try to be conscious of them, particularly when snapping your own photos of the day. The newlyweds have paid for professionals to capture the day, and they don't want an enormous iPad or a sea of phones in frame for their walk down the aisle or first dance. It's generally fine to take photos, (unless the couple have requested otherwise) just be subtle about it! The couple want to see your face as they walk up the aisle - not the back of your phone.

8. Don't Bother the Couple in the Run Up to the Wedding

Of all the wedding guest dos and don'ts, this has to be the most common cause of strife - guests waiting until the week of the wedding to announce that they don't know where the venue is (photograph your invitations on your phone the moment you open them, guys, in case you lose the hard copy!), demand that you approve their outfit, or drop a thousand unnecessary questions. Excited texts are fine, but otherwise, think twice before contacting the couple in the run up to the wedding - they've got quite a lot going on!

9. Don't Go Rogue with Gifts

Wedding gifts are the source of much awkwardness, but in theory, it's very simple - just follow the couple's request. If they're having a registry, use it! If they've asked for a charitable donation, make one! If they've not referenced gifts at all, it probably means that cash is appreciated but not expected, in which case we don't recommend giving them a 9ft piece of art or colourful armchair (regardless of how beautiful it is!).

10. Roll with the Punches

Weddings can be stressful if you don't know what's going on, particularly if you're a chronic organiser like me! Some couples like to spring surprises on their guests, so they keep them in the dark, while others prefer a fluid timeline. Either way, try to get into the spirit of things - throw the confetti, sign the guestbook and nip into the photobooth! - and enjoy the spontaneity of the day. If an opera singer appears during the starters and launches into a cover version of Like a Virgin, just go with it!

11. Instagram with Care

Some couples will request that guests leave their phones in their pockets during the ceremony, or refrain from putting images of their wedding on social media altogether (in which case you should respect their wishes!), but if nothing has been specified, it's best to err on the side of caution. Follow the couple's lead - don't upload an image of them on the day of the wedding if they haven't done so themselves. Photos of you and your pals having an amazing time on the dancefloor, on the other hand, should be fine to post. Read our guide to unplugged weddings.

12. Offer to Help Out (But Only if you Mean it!)

If you're a whiz with a palette knife or an expert Spotify playlist-maker, the couple will really appreciate you offering your services for their big day, as long as you're absolutely sure that you can commit the time and effort. If they decline, don't be offended - they probably just want you to relax and focus on enjoying the day.

13. Drink Responsibly

This one is trickier than it sounds! Being bar-adjacent for 14 straight hours makes it tough to monitor your alcohol intake, especially if the couple have been really generous with their offering. If you're worried about overdoing it, make a game plan. Commit to pausing your drinking for one element of the day (the first hour of the band is a handy one, or the meal if you're not a wine drinker), or buddy up with an equally-concerned pal and agree to make every second drink a glass of water.

14. Be Present

You're going to want to keep all of our tips in mind, but at the end of the day, what the couple want most is for you to have an incredible time and to add to the electric atmosphere of their wedding. Forget about your phone for the day, make yourself available for hugs on demand, and just enjoy every little moment as it comes.

Featured image: Annie Kheffache via One Fab Day

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