Turning down a wedding invitation is never easy, but the Covid-19 pandemic has sparked lots of new questions on this subject - is it OK to decline an invitation because I'm worried about Covid-19? Should I go into detail about my reasons? How do I decline without sounding preachy or judgemental? We've written an extensive guide to declining a wedding invitation here, but today, we're going to tailor this advice for Covid-era weddings. By the end of this feature, you'll be able to (politely!) say no to a wedding invitation due to Covid-19. But first, we wanted to address an important frequently-asked question.

Is it OK to decline an invitation because I'm worried about Covid-19?

It's perfectly acceptable to decline a wedding invitation because you're concerned about Covid-19. Even when the risks of contracting or spreading the virus are very low, due to vaccination levels and safety protocol, they're not eliminated entirely. It's totally understandable that you might be feeling more anxious about getting Covid-19 than something that carries a similarly low risk, because the pandemic has been such a huge part of our lives for the past 18 months. We do think it's worth chatting to the couple about your concerns before you make your decision (more on that below), but the bottom line is that, if you're not comfortable attending an event, you probably won't have a good time, and that's the last thing the couple want. The key is finding the right phrasing to convey your regrets!

How to Say No to a Wedding Invitation due to Covid-19: The Dos and Don'ts

• DO think about your reasons for declining. As we mentioned above, depending on your reasons for declining, it might be worth having a chat with the couple about what measures will be in place on the day, or whether or not you could attend the outdoor parts of the day only, before you make your decision. In some cases, the couple will be happy for you to attend part of the day, or make adjustments to make you feel more comfortable. The only way to find out is to pick up the phone and ask.
• DO think about your relationship with the couple. If you're very close with one or both of the people getting married, it might be best to break the news in person or via a phone call or video chat. If, on the other hand, you don't know them well, an RSVP will usually suffice.
• DO thank the couple for inviting you. This one is non-negotiable!
• DON'T leave it until the last minute. This is another non-negotiable point! A prompt RSVP means that the couple will have time to invite someone else, so so be sure and work to the deadline indicated on the invitation.

• DO be honest. You don't have to give a specific reason why you can't attend, but it usually helps to soften the blow. Remember, couples are generally very understanding when it comes to Covid-19 - no-one is expecting life to magically return to normal.
• DON'T go into too much detail. If you can't sum up your reasons in two sentences, go back to the drawing board and try again. You want to give just enough information that the couple understand your reasons. If you go into too much detail, it may cause more guilt and awkwardness.
• DON'T contradict yourself later on. If, for example, you've told the couple that you can't attend their wedding because you're avoiding indoor gatherings, don't post about attending a gig or sporting event on social media the following week! The same goes for international travel.
• DON'T make it sound like you think their wedding is unsafe. It's important to be clear that your reasons for not attending are personal, and not a judgement on the couple's decision to go ahead with their wedding. Avoid phrases like, "I'm concerned for my safety," or "I wouldn't feel right about attending."
• DO be firm. It's best to use clear, purposeful language to avoid any confusion.
• DO use the sample phrases we've created for you at the end of this feature!

• DON'T forget to formally RSVP. Even if you've spoken to the couple in person, it's always polite to respond in the way indicated on the invitation.
• DO follow up with a call or message. Even if you don't know the couple very well, a follow-up call, email or text is a nice way to show that you're genuinely disappointed that you can't make it, and diffuse any awkwardness.
• DO consider some ways that you can still celebrate the couple. This is entirely optional, and depends on your relationship with the couple, but it will always be appreciated. You could send a gift (we've got a whole feature about the etiquette around sending gifts when you're not attending a wedding here), arrange to meet the couple for a separate celebration, send a video message or pen a few words of support to be read out during the speeches.

Declining a Wedding Invitation due to Covid-19: Handy Sample Phrases

We've put together a list of sample phrases for saying no to a wedding invitation due to Covid-19, including options for formal and casual RSVPs, and email, postal and in-person responses. Feel free to mix and match phrases to create the response that suits best.

• "Thank you for thinking of me. I regret to inform you that I have made the decision not to attend due to the ongoing situation with Covid-19, but please accept my warmest congratulations."
• "Regrettably, I will not be able to attend the wedding as I am avoiding large indoor gatherings/international travel at present."
• “Thank you so much for the invitation, I really appreciate it and it means a great deal. Unfortunately, I am not attending large indoor gatherings/travelling internationally at present, so I won't be able to make it."
• "We would love to celebrate with you but unfortunately, with the situation we find ourselves in with Covid-19, we can't make it work."
• "I've given it a lot of thought, and unfortunately, with the situation we find ourselves in with Covid-19, I won't be able to attend."
• "Thanks so much for the invitation. I have made the very difficult decision not to attend due to the Covid-19 situation, but I hope you'll accept my warmest congratulations."

• "Thank you both so much for including us in your wedding. Sadly, we won't be able to attend as we are avoiding large indoor events at the moment."
• "I hope you have the most wonderful time celebrating this special occasion."
• "I hope we can get together for drinks in a couple of months/next year, and you can tell me all about your wedding!"
• "We would love to celebrate with you separately after the wedding."
• "We will be thinking of you on August 10th and popping a bottle of Champagne in your honour!"
• "Due to the Covid-19 situation, I'm sorry to say that we'll have to celebrate this one from afar!"
• "I'm gutted that I won't make the wedding, but I know you'll have a phenomenal day."
• "I'm sorry that I won't be there in person, but I'm sending my best wishes to you both."

Need a crash course in wedding etiquette? You'll find lots of helpful posts in our wedding planning section!