Proposing with an inherited engagement ring can be really special. An heirloom ring carries stories and significance, it can make your proposal all the more romantic and personal, not to mention the fact that your other half gets a treasured, beautiful (and potentially expensive) ring, and you haven't had to dip into your savings to buy it (aka more money for wedding cake!).
There are so many reasons why a family ring makes the perfect engagement ring, but there are also lots of reasons why it doesn't. Plenty of ladies adore their inherited engagement rings, but we also hear from a lot of brides have been given an inherited ring, and are not sure how to tell their other half (and potentially their whole families) that they don't want it.
So while we're not saying proposing with a inherited engagement ring is a bad idea (your partner may have already told you she wants a family ring, if so, you're good to go!), it does deserve a little more thought before you pop the question.
To help, we've rounded up some reasons why it warrants some thinking over...
Photo by Peter Carvill via One Fab Day
She May Not Be Emotionally Attached to the Inherited Ring
You need to consider whether or not the heirloom ring has significance to your other half. If it's from your family, rather than hers, it might not mean as much to her as you think. Yes you were really close to your granny, but if your fiancé never met her, it might be hard for her to feel as sentimental about the ring as you do.
Again, this will differ from relationship to relationship, but giving someone a ring that means something to you, but not them, is pretty risky.
Photo by Christy McKee Photography via Chic Vintage Brides
Heirloom Rings Can Mean a Lot of Pressure
Proposing with an heirloom ring, particularly one that's not from the bride's own family, can be fraught with pressure.
Not only does it feel extra precious (losing it suddenly seems like a terrifying prospect!), but there's a lot of pressure to love it too - or risk offending the family if you don't. The last thing you want is to have to tell your new mother-in-law that you don't want to wear her family ring.
If the original owner of the ring has passed away, you're also carrying around a little piece of their legacy, which in itself can feel like a big deal.
For many brides and many rings, this won't be an issue, but it is worth thinking through before you go rooting through the family jewellery box.
Photo by Kristen Kay Photography via One Fab Day
The Inherited Engagement Ring Might Not Be Her Style
Following on from the point above, a family ring might not be your bride's style. For some brides it won't matter, the ring is so meaningful, that the style doesn't even factor But for others, particularly if it's not a ring from their own family, it may start to grate.
Heirloom rings are often vintage in style, so if your other half prefers her jewellery minimal and modern, it might be best avoided. Likewise they often have coloured stones, yellow gold, and classic settings, again all this might be right up your bride-to-be's street, but if it doesn't sound like her style, tread carefully. As it's hard to turn down an inherited ring after the proposal.
Photo by Elaine Barker Photography via One Fab Day
She May Want Her Own Ring
An engagement ring is a gift from one person to another, to ask for their hand in marriage, and it can also be a symbol of love and starting your life together. That means different things to different people, but for some brides, that means having a ring of their own, that tells their own love story.
While your bride might love and treasure her mum or granny's ring, that doesn't mean she doesn't want a ring of her own, that represents her own relationship. She may also not want to look down at her hand, and see someone else's ring everyday - and have it never really feel like its her own.
A good compromise for this is to use a family ring for the proposal, as a token ring, then go shopping for a sparkler of her own afterwards.
Photo by Winsome And Wright via Style Me Pretty
And Some Tips If You Are Proposing with an Inherited Engagement Ring...
So you're sure you want to pop the question with an inherited ring, you know she either has her heart set on it, or is going to love it, here's a few tips to make sure it's a perfect proposal...
- Have the ring newly cleaned, ideally resized (here's how to work out the sizing) and insured, before you propose, so it's ready for her to show off straight away.
- After all the excitement of the proposal, have a frank conversation. Let your new fiancé know that it's no problem at all if she's not entirely happy with the ring, and that she can have one of her own if she wants to. Let her feel safe to speak up, and try not to be upset or offended if she does. Oh and try to have some contingency savings ready, just in case she does opt for a new ring!
- While you may not want to spoil the surprise of the proposal, it's important to get permission within the family that the ring belongs to, before you take it, and make sure everyone is happy with you using it. Most likely they'll be really excited for you, but you don't want to cause any blow-outs if a sister or brother had their heart set on the same piece.
More Handy Guides If You're Planning To Propose:
Feature image: Secret Keeper Box on Etsy
