Back in the day, weddings in Ireland were a pretty simple celebration. There were no engagement parties, stag dos or hen nights, and the weddings themselves were often a 'sandwiches back at the house' kind of affair, or a small dinner with just your immediate family and closest friends. But there was something called a kitchen party. And here at One Fab Day, we're petitioning to bring this lovely Irish wedding tradition back into fashion!

What Is a Kitchen Party?

A kitchen party is kind of an Irish take on a bridal shower. While bridal showers are more of an American tradition - and the idea of asking for even more gifts, and another event ahead of your wedding can seem a bit cringe - a kitchen party is less about wedding overkill, and more about giving everyone a chance to celebrate your day with you, in a low-key way.

A kitchen party is usually thrown by your mam, mother-in-law, granny, or aunt (a family matriarch) and it's an opportunity for the women in your family, neighbours, friends of your mother, and a few close friends, to get together ahead of your wedding. Not everyone on the kitchen party guest list has to be going to your wedding, in fact, it's often about those not attending having the chance to wish you well.

Everyone bakes or brings sandwiches or salad, it's hosted at home and is generally a more tea/less bubbly affair.

At the first one I attended (my friend Trish's mum threw it for her!), the bride's dress was hanging in the bedroom, so guests at the kitchen party who wouldn't be at the wedding, could go in and take a peek.

There may be some gifts, but they're generally trinkets, like candles or teaspoons, or pieces of bridal trousseau like garters or handkerchiefs, rather than expensive or extravagant presents.

Why a Kitchen Party Is a Great Idea

After attending my first kitchen party, I was totally sold on the idea. It's something of a cure-all for many pre-wedding predicaments.

For many women getting married, (especially if you're living abroad or don't see your family very often), you can feel a little out of the loop with your extended family on in-laws. It's really lovely to reconnect in advance of your wedding day, let them in on some of your plans, and give everyone a chance to get excited about it.

A kitchen party is the perfect way to include your mam, mother-in-law, and aunties in the build-up for your day, without having to invite them to your hen.

On your wedding day, you won't necessarily be able to make introductions or get people mingling, so a kitchen party is a handy opportunity to introduce various sides of your family or life to eachother. Your aunties will have a chance to meet your bridesmaids, your mother-in-law can meet your brother's new girlfriend, and your school friends can see your mum - and in turn, they'll hopefully mix again on your wedding day too.

Traditionally, neighbours would come out to see you off from your childhood home on the morning of your wedding, but with more and more brides getting ready in their own home or at their venue, having a kitchen party is a lovely excuse to see your neighbours before your big day.

These people may have known you since you were little, so while you may not have been able to fit them in your guest list, they are still invested in your day, and excited to hear all about it - the same goes for people like your friends' mums (who may have known you for years) and your mam's pals too.

A kitchen party is also a handy idea for an older bride, second-time bride, or a bride who doesn't want a hen party.

For me, my kitchen party (of sorts - there were cocktails, a feather boa and lots of decorations!) really did help to make my wedding week special. My auntie threw it for me the Sunday before I got married, as a way to include my sister, who lives abroad and couldn't make my hen, involved in the pre-wedding festivities. And as my mam had passed away a few years before I got married, it was a lovely chance to see her side of the family, to catch up with all my cousins and great aunt who wouldn't be at the wedding, and to introduce my friends and my husband's mam, to my mam's family. It was such a nice occasion - I highly recommend it!

How To Host Your Own Kitchen Party

If you love the idea of having your own pre-wedding party, talk to someone in your family about hosting it - I'm sure your mum, sister, aunt or mother-in-law would be honoured!

The idea is that is has a homely feel, and is a low key affair, so don't worry too much about fancy invitations, decorations and catering. Do whatever's handy for you, whether it's scones and tea, trays of sandwiches, or a pot-luck.

If you're the host of a kitchen party, make sure the guests know that no gifts are expected and that there isn't a dress code, it's simply a relaxed get-together.

You can have your kitchen party a few weeks or a few days before your wedding, whatever fits for you - for my mam, my Dad's mother had one for her the night before her wedding (that might be a bit stressful!).

So who's going to join me, and bring back this lovely Irish wedding tradition, and make kitchen parties a staple of pre-wedding festivities?

Get more Hen Party Tips and Ideas

Feature image: Niamh Smith of The Photography Hub via One Fab Day