Last updated 1st Jan 2021. Click here for the latest information on Covid and weddings in Ireland.
The last few weeks and months have been a rollercoaster, and every day brings a new and different Covid wedding question to our inbox. We've been sharing so much advice one-on-one, we thought it was a good idea to bring them all together in one place for you. Today we bring you our master list of about Covid Wedding questions and answers.
Where there are concrete facts (e.g. the restrictions) we have laid them out, but in a lot of cases the answers are just carefully considered opinions, based on our 10 years of dealing with all sorts of wedding questions. Covid has thrown weddings up in the air just as much as they have every other aspect of daily life. There's no hard and fast rule for any of this. We're trying to take a common sense, empathetic and sensitive approach, as always, and trying to give you as much practical support as we can. Most of the answers below have full articles where we've explored the issue in more detail, so click through and find out more. If we've missed something drop us a line or a dm and we'll investigate and add it to the list.
What does the Government Roadmap say about weddings in Ireland exactly?
We give a full overview of the plan and how it affects weddings in this post
How many guests can I have at my wedding?
You can have 6 guests currently, and until the end of Jan 2021
Does the guest number include the celebrant?
No
Does the guest number include the couple?
No
Does the guest number include children?
Yes. There is no exemption currently for children of any age.
Can I travel to a wedding in a different part of Ireland?
You can travel to a wedding anywhere in Ireland
Can I travel to Ireland from abroad for a wedding?
I'm invited to a Covid wedding - do I have to go?
This is a question we've gotten from many many people via email and also instagram: they're invited to a wedding but not feeling comfortable attending and are not sure what to do. It's a sensitive subject, with many people feeling covid-anxious, while others just feel covid-constricted.
We believe, sensitively expressed, honesty is the best policy. Explaining that you would love to attend, were really looking forward to it but now feel you can't attend, should be sufficient. If you want to give details about the circumstances to your decision, you can, but it shouldn't be expected. Circumstances such as caring for, or in close proximity for a vulnerable person; covid-anxiety; financial worries etc are deeply personal and you shouldn't need to justify your decision. But be understanding with the couple's disappointment and emotional vulnerability. It's been a horribly tough year for couple's planning a wedding. They may be upset, but that's because they were looking forward to you being there.
From a couple's point of view, being let down by a guest is tough/annoying/adds to the stress, but empathy is needed on all sides right now. We all have to give each other space to deal with the stress of this. Think about how you might celebrate with this guest at a later stage, in a smaller group. This person deeply wants to celebrate with you but just can't in this way right now. Try not to be upset with them. This is hard on everyone.
When should I send my wedding invitations?
Traditionally invitations are sent 3 months in advance of the wedding, with an RSVP date about 6-8 weeks out. These days, written invitations are a formality because you'll have been speaking to everyone over the months in advance and your guests will know they're invited.
Right now, with things changing there's no new rule for when to send invitations, so we think stick with 3 months in advance. It gives guests enough time to consider whether they can come and for you to adjust your guestlist accordingly. Send your invitations out to your guestlist bearing in mind how things may change between 50-25 guests.
How do I cut the guestlist?
Start with your closest family and friends, those you absolutely cannot imagine having the wedding without. Review it for those who are vulnerable or abroad, and may not be able to attend.
Figure out who makes your initial list of 25 and then up to the cut off of 50 (under the current guidelines it's sensible to have lists of 25 and 50 (and 100 as a backup).
Claire did a great post on how to downsize the guestlist you can read here.
How do I uninvite guests?
First of all, don't worry about offending guests by 'uninviting' them to your wedding. At this stage, everyone knows, so it's not going to be a surprise. The key thing is to be upfront and clear what's happening.
With guests who have received a formal invitation but now it has to change, make sure and take the personal approach. Do not use blanket communication. Whether it's a phone call, a text, an email or a card in the post, it should be personalised.
If you haven't yet sent invitations, but people had made preparations, or knew they were invited, you don't need to do any formal uninviting. But you will still need to let the guests know in the same way, to make sure they are clear on what's happening.
Do I have to give a wedding gift if I'm not attending a wedding?
This is a very personal decision, but Claire wrote a very considered article about the dos and don'ts of giving a wedding gift if you're not attending in pre-Covid times which is worth reading.
The bottom line is don't feel pressured into giving a gift. But if you are close to the couple, really wanted to attend the wedding, but the couple just had to cut your invitation because of circumstances outside of their control, it is probably considerate to give them a gift, not least because they will face financial as well emotional stress from all the change over the past few months.
If on the other hand, you aren't super close and were just attending because of family/work/politeness, or your finances have changed, as with many of us, then you don't have to feel pressure to give.
Everyone's circumstances are different since the pandemic hit and consideration and empathy are important on all sides. Read Claire's piece which goes into more detail on wedding gift etiquette.
Can I get Wedding Insurance for my wedding during Coronavirus?
Simply put: No.
It was pretty tough for those with wedding insurance at the beginning of the covid crisis to learn that their policies didn't cover changes, cancellations or postponements due to Covid. At present providers are not offering wedding insurance policies.
Do We Need To Reapply for Our Marriage License?
We checked with the HSE and they confirmed that if a couple has already had their marriage notification appointment, and received their marriage license, but now need to change their date, they will have to reapply, but will not be charged the statutory fee of €200 again. We have further information here.
Can I get my deposit back if I cancel a supplier or the venue?
You will need to check the details of your contract carefully, in most cases the booking deposit is non-refundable, but please refer to the specifics of your own contract. If in doubt, the best place to call is the CCPC 01 402 5555
Should I postpone my wedding?
We've been asked for months whether we know what's going to happen and what we recommend a specific couple do. Unfortunately we don't have any clear answers to this one. There are 4 different approaches to dealing with the postponement question,
It really depends on your personal circumstances, in particular where your wedding is to be held in relation to where you live (harder for couples coming from abroad for example); how vulnerable your important guests are; how many guests you were planning on having and how the new restrictions work in your venue; your personal financial situation; and lots of other individual circumstances.
We find most couples are either just planning to go ahead with a smaller number on their original date or opting for a two part celebration, which leads us to...
Can I have a small wedding now and a bigger celebration later?
Absolutely! This is one of the most popular strategies for dealing with the covid crisis - have your ceremony on the date as planned, with a smaller celebration, within the guidelines, and plan for having your big wedding party next year or in 2022 when Covid has abated and you can celebrate in style. A two part wedding offers the best of both worlds.
Should I send new Wedding Invitations or Save the Dates for the New Date?
You don't have to but you can send either printed change the dates or digital versions.If you are looking for wording for change the dates check out this post.
How can I make this smaller wedding more special?
How can I include friends, family and guests who can't attend the wedding?
Organise a broadcast of the wedding ceremony on Zoom or via Facebook/Instagram live. Set up a hashtag so the guests can share images with your wider circle.
Before or the day after the wedding, dress up in your finery, and visit important people, such as grandparents, who are vulnerable and can't make it. Save slices of wedding cake or organise little wedding favour boxes for delivery to guests you would love to have had at the wedding.
Organise a special lunch or dinner, or series of celebrations (socially distanced and in the right numbers) with the circles of people you couldn't invite directly.
Can I have live music at the wedding?
The simple answer to this is Yes. Due to the 11pm cut off time for the wedding reception, you will probably need to reorganise your timeline to give the musicians enough time to play. We asked couples who have had their weddings since Covid began, and they gave us their advice as to how to make music work at a covid wedding.
