A modernised template and tips to make the speeches run smoothly

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We're often asked, "What's the correct order of speeches at a wedding?" and we always give the same answer - the correct order of speeches is the order that works for you and your partner, your style of wedding, and your chosen speechgivers! Of course, what couples actually mean is, "What's the traditional order of speeches at a wedding?" which is an easier question to answer, but we find the traditional order of speeches largely unhelpful when planning a modern wedding. That's why we've come up with a new, modernised template for you to work from, as well as some tips on customising the list for your own big day.

Photo by Nathan Walker Photography via One Fab Day

The Traditional or Formal Order of Speeches at a Wedding:

When we're asked about the correct order of speeches at a wedding, the couple is usually looking for the traditional, typical or formal order of speeches at a wedding, which we've provided below. However, it's important to note that this order is pretty outdated, and doesn't accommodate same-sex couples or parents, mixed-gender bridal parties, or brides or other female wedding party members who would like to speak. So, while we've provided it here for any traditional couples out there, we highly recommend you check out our modernised version below!

The Traditional or Formal Order of Speeches at a Wedding:

The Father of the Bride
The Father of the Groom
The Groom
The Best Man

The Order of Speeches at a Wedding for Modern Couples:

For our updated version of the traditional order of speeches at a wedding, we've gone for a semi-chronological line up. We placed parents first, as they tend to talk more about the couple's early lives, followed by friends and siblings, who often talk about school and early adulthood, and how the couple met. It can be useful for the couple to go last, as this gives you an opportunity to thank everyone who played a role in the day, including the speechgivers. That said, there are many more factors to consider when planning the order of speeches at a wedding - keep reading to find out what they are!

The Order of Speeches at a Wedding for Modern Couples:

The Couple's Parents - could be anything from one to four speeches
The Couple's Closest Friends and/or Siblings - these might include Best Man, Maid of Honour, Groomsmen, Bridesmaids, Groomsmaids, Bridesmen, members of the wedding party or non-members
The Couple - speaking either together or separately

Photo by Loreen Katherine Photography via One Fab Day

Tips for Planning the Order of Speeches at a Wedding

Remember, there's no rule to say that the father-of-the-bride or best man has to give a speech. Equally, we've witnessed amazing speeches given by friends, grandparents and flower girls! Keep an open mind when deciding who will speak at your wedding, and consider who you'd like to hear from, and who would like to speak, rather than blindly following a traditional order.
It's not mandatory, but we recommend that you at least consider speaking at your own wedding. Guests love to hear from couples, and most couples report that they're glad they made the effort to speak on their own big day.
When planning the order of speeches, consider whether the speeches will take place all at once, or whether you will stagger them throughout the day. As we discussed here, having some speeches before or after the ceremony, or during the drinks reception, can help combat speech fatigue at the reception, and give nervous speakers the opportunity to get their speech done early on in the day.

Think about who's going to be giving the speeches, and whether they're confident or nervous about it. It's worth asking them about this directly, as the answer might surprise you!
Ask one of your more confident speakers to MC the speeches. This really just means they'll introduce each of the speakers in the line up to give the speeches a more polished feel, and give speakers a boost by encouraging the audience to give them a round of applause when they first pick up the microphone.
You can also ask your MC to watch out for any potential technical difficulties, make sure all the other speakers are ready to go, keep an eye on time, arrange glasses of water for each speaker, etc. You can also give them a list of people to thank on your behalf.
Place nervous speakers early on the line up, but have your MC introduce them, preferably with a (tasteful!) joke or some words of encouragement. Let your MC know that they're feeling a little apprehensive, so they can encourage the crowd to welcome them warmly.
Confident speakers can go anywhere on the line up, but having a particularly confident or funny speechgiver go last will end the speeches on a high note!