If you're a regular reader or if you've ever listened to our podcast, you'll know that we advocate for size inclusivity in the wedding industry. That means more choice for brides of every shape and size, an enjoyable shopping experience for everyone, and zero pressure to slim down for your big day. Who better to share insights on this, than a real bride on the things she learned while shopping for a plus size wedding dress. Michelle Chantelle Hopewell is an Edinburgh-based writer and body empowerment activist who shared her dress shopping journey on Instagram. She realised that talking about her experience helped to normalise plus size bridal for others, and here, she shares her shopping tips!

What I Learned from Wedding Dress Shopping as a Plus Size Bride

The bridal industry is full of options, but those options can dwindle when it comes to a plus size body. Alongside our sometimes overwhelmingly complicated relationships with our bodies, it can become daunting thinking about shopping for a wedding dress when you don't fall within the usual sample size parameters. But being plus size shouldn’t stop us from having the same positive shopping experiences and having as many options as any other bride. 

Before I got engaged, I had already spent months (fine, you got me, years) not-so-secretly pinning styles and designs to my multiple wedding dress Pinterest boards. We've all done it and it's nothing to be ashamed of! When it comes to shopping for your perfect wedding day outfit, I think it's great to already have any idea of the kind of pieces you like. But what was apparent from all those years of pinning, was that I didn’t always see my body reflected in the images I saw.

As an ever-evolving plus size fashion industry grows, this should mean we also start to see ourselves reflected and represented within the wedding industry too, because we exist. Sometimes that means being the thing you want to see, so with that in mind, I want to share some of the tips that helped me in the lead up to shopping for dresses and eventually finding the right one. 

1. Research is Key 

Doing a little homework can save you from heartbreak because not every boutique or store will be plus size friendly. Research cuts, styles, stores, designers and materials to debunk the myths and help give yourself a clearer picture of what you want, because this will determine which designers and boutiques to aim for. Don’t be afraid to call or email ahead to find out what ranges and sizing they’re able to offer you as a plus bride and also to avoid wasting time travelling to shops that aren’t plus size accommodating.

2. Create a Body Shame Free Zone

Most of us are professionals when it comes to tearing our bodies down and deciding what isn’t good enough. That kind of attitude is not going to serve you in this process and it’s also energy you shouldn’t have to take on from anyone else. Commit to making this journey free from body bashing and actively engaging with positive language and behaviours with your body. Encourage those who you take with you to exercise the same kind of behaviour when offering opinions or feedback about the things you try on.

3. Forget Sizing 

Focusing on the numbers when you go to try on dresses is incredibly unhelpful because lots of bridal sizing runs small.  If the numbers are stressing you out, ask your stylist to take measurements and avoid telling you what those measurements are. That way you can focus on how you feel in something. It’s also encouraged that you don’t buy an outfit you plan to slim into for your wedding day. Don’t add toxic diet culture ideals and pressure into something that is meant to be about celebrating who you are.

4. Make Social Media Work For You

There may be points where social media is a hindrance in wedding planning, but when it comes to having access to multiple visual examples of other plus size brides as wonderful as yourself, it’s pretty great. Try searching hashtags like #plussizebrides to not only find examples of the kind of looks you’re loving, but also to follow and be inspired by other brides in their own body confidence journey.

5. Get Inventive 

You might be looking at traditional routes to find your dress and finding that it’s not working for you. Look at the other avenues like vintage and charity shops, specialist plus size boutiques, bespoke bridal designers that can create your vision from scratch, and consider plus size online retailers like ASOS, who now have several curve and plus size bridal options. You could end up securing the outfit in the place you least expect. 

6. "The One" Might Not Exist 

Often we think we have to have this magical moment where the heavens parts and angels sing and you win the lottery in order to find the right bridal outfit, and that is just too much pressure. We think that this is our only chance in our entire life to look as spectacular as we can, but it was actually listening to an episode of the One Fab Day podcast that I was able release myself from the shackles of that idea because honestly there may be several points in your life that you look better than you did on your wedding day. That's okay. In years to come, there may be dresses you end up loving more than your wedding outfit and that's okay too. It's okay to release yourself from the idea that you, or your outfit, have to be perfect for your wedding day. Perfection doesn't exist and it's not the end goal for your special day.

7. Be Open-minded

As an extremely decisive person, it was hard for me to consider that I should leave room to experiment when I already had a set idea of the kind of dress I wanted, where to get it, how much it was, and if it was in stock (research, am I right?), but part of an organic process is being open to what your wedding outfit might be. You may think you want to cover up certain areas or show some of them off, all options are valid, but explore as much variety as there is on offer.

It was important to me to set my intentions and priorities before I started the journey to finding the right dress because it’s easy to end up fixating on the wrong things. Set your intentions keep to mind the reasons you are on this journey in the first place.

Whatever you end up wearing, there is no doubt in my mind that you will be exceptional because even without the outfit, you already are!

Read our guide to where to find plus size wedding dresses and listen to our episode about why you don't need to lose weight for your wedding